Here’s how I’d have written the movie, A QUIET PLACE.

***SPOILER ALERT***

A husband, Lee, comes home to his fancypants house in the woods. He takes care to tiptoe around so the monsters who now rule the world won’t hear-n-kill him. Once Lee hits the kitchen, he finds a note from his wife which says, Meet me at the waterfall – Evelyn.

Lee tiptoes over to waterfall. Evelyn is there.

“Hey honey, why aren’t you at the house?” asks Lee. “And why do you have a camp set up at this waterfall with all our kids and belongings?”

“Because we can talk at the waterfall without getting killed by the monsters.”

“Huh. But don’t you think it’s better to live at the house? We can set up little sand spots so everyone walks around silently. You can take baths. The kids will play board games. As long as we stay silent, it’s all good.”

“Because that’s a shitty idea. And I’m way wicked pregnant.”

“Hmm. I’m not sure about this.”

“Look, if you want to go tiptoeing around to find food for us, that’s cool. But I’m staying here with the kids. See how they’re learning to fish? That’s protein central. Just scrounge up some sushi rice and we’re golden.”

“But don’t you think we should live at the house and just come here to the waterfall when we want to talk without getting killed?”

“No. No. A thousand times, no.”

“Ummm… okay.”

“Thanks, Babe. And don’t forget the sushi rice.”

THE END